He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
