but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
