I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
