i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
