He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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