My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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