So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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