just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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