Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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