Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
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