Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
