These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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