i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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