Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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