do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
