His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
