Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
