got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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