i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she smelled like a LAN party
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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