Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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