i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
