very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
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