I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
