I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
