how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This toilet bowl is my home.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
