My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
