i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
