it hurts more in the daytime
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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