I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
