i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
there's paper in my vomit.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
