I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I know her cup size but not her name....
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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