Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
