I molested 6 butterflies tonight
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Randomize
