I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
