i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
