my vag is so smooth its legendary
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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