Im at strip club and am horny
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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