I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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