Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
