careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
