We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
