i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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