he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
