I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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