that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
