nut hugger
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i now understand why vodka
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
