I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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