3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
