Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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