break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
