Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
