I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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