if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
this boner is exhausting
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
