Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
