Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
