I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
